ボストンは今日も空気が冷たく澄んでいて,寒いんだけど自転車通勤が気持ち良い朝晩でした.遅めの夕食は帰り道のショボいレストランでテイクアウトすることにしたのですが,そこで働く南米系の女の子と注文待ちの雑談をしながら「今日は月が綺麗ですよ」という話になりました.このような「月の美しさを語る」という,健康で文化的な最低限度の日本男性ならば赤面しかねない場面に際しても,あまりドキドキ感がなかったのが面白かったです.
これは「人の感情の振れ幅は,その時話している言語レベル(とか,その言語が使われる文化的なコンテクストの理解レベル)に依存する」という,何となく普段感じてることを示唆する経験でした.
こういうことがあると,将来自分の英語力が,日本語と同じくらい感情を左右できる水準に達するかという問いに対して,やや難しいと答えざるを得ません.もしかしたら,僕にとって英語は仕事のツール止まりなのかもしれません.もちろん,そうだとしてもまたまだまだまだ上達の余地はあるので,頑張って勉強しようと思いますが.そう言えばこの前,医学系の馴染みない分野の論文を読んでたら,5ページの論文で知らない単語が30個以上ありました.何年英語圏に住んでも,どれだけ勉強しても,そんなレベルなので,謙虚に積み重ねなくちゃいけないですね.
ちなみに僕が「自分の英語はまだまだ」と言っているのは,できないことの逃げ道を作っているのではありません.矛盾するようですが,それなりには英語は使えていると思いますが,これは10年以上英語圏に住んでるので特段に誇らしい話でもありません.それよりも,(英語に限らず)「何かができる」というのは全く一筋縄ではない,ということです.
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