研究でブラジルに滞在していて，大学の近くのビジネスホテルに泊まっています．ホテルでのタオルの交換がなかなか難易度が高く，ハンガーにかけておいたり，便器のフタの上に置いておいたりしていたのですが，なかなか交換してもらえず，先日は慣れないポルトガル語としょうもないジェスチャーでようやくなんとかなりました．「これってどうしたら良いんでしょうかね」とSNSなどで友人に聞いたら，床に置いておけば良いんだよ，と教えてもらいました．どうもありがとうございました！
実は床に置けば良いのだろう，というのは何となく想像していました．というか，ハンガーでもだめ，シャワーの枠でもだめ，便器のフタでもだめだったので，他にはオプションがなかったというのが正しいところでしょうか．正直なことを言うと，自分は使用済みの濡れたタオルを床に置いて，誰かに拾わせることに著しい心理的抵抗があります．ブラジルにいると招いてくれるような家庭の場合は大体メイドさんがいて掃除，洗濯，料理などをやらないのは当然のようです． 1 一方，一億総中流だった時代の日本で育った人であれば，自分と同じような感覚を共有する人が多いのではないかと想像するのですが，みなさんにとって「タオルを投げ捨てておいて交換してもらう」のは，どのように感じる行為でしょうか．私が子供の時には，風呂に入った後に濡れたタオルを腰に巻いて，畳の部屋で投げ捨ててばあちゃんに怒られるようなことは何度もありましたし，今でも自分のアパートでは濡れたタオルや衣類を床に置くようなことはしません．（そして自分の家でやらないことをホテルならやる，ってのも変な感じがします．）これはそのような決まりだから，と割り切れば良いんでしょうかね．もしかしたら，みんなやってる決まりだからやっても良いんだよ，と後押しして欲しかったのかもしれません．（だって，何度か使用したタオルは交換したい．）
少しナイーブなことを言いますと，貧富の差を搾取してのみ成立する「自分が汚したものを床に投げておいて，それを他人に片付けさせる行為」に疑問を感じなくなってしまったら将来，仮に自分が「社会の格差をなくすことを通じて，少しでも多くの人を幸せにしたい」みたいな思いを持った時に，説得力がない自分とか，自己矛盾に耐えられなくなる気がするのです．これは，自分の価値観とか美意識に基づく心理的な抵抗なので，同様の行為を行う他人をどう思うとかいう話ではありません．床におくんだよ，と教えてくれた人には感謝しています．批判するような意図も，否定的な感覚もありません．
一方で自分が貧富の差を搾取していないと言うのも独善的な考え方であることもわかっていて，例えば，現在の日本の福島原発で作業をしている人は他に選択肢がなく，やむを得ずその仕事に従事しているのかと思います．あるいは，ブラジルのサトウキビ農家の人の輝く笑顔が・・・というようなドキュメンタリーの裏で，当然のように都市と農村部の貧富の格差は存在していることは否定できません（そして貧しい人の笑顔が美しい，などという奇麗事ではなく，彼らは豊かになりたいと思っているのではないか）．大局的に見れば，自分の平穏な生活も，多かれ少なかれ経済的バランスの搾取の上に成り立っているのは間違いありません．しかしその相対的な関係は，社会の複雑なシステムの中で見えづらくなっているし，少なくとも自分は，敢えて自分が辛くなるようなものを見に行かずに予防線を張っているので，良心の呵責にまだ耐えられています．一方，ホテルのタオルの件は自分の直接の行為（一次的な行為）であるので，目を逸らすのが難しいのです．貧富の差の搾取を直接的に感じてしまう行為であって，目を逸らす逃げ場がなくなってしまうことが，自分の心理的抵抗の理由です．
例えばダボス会議とかで，世界の格差について侃侃諤諤している世界のグローバルリーダーとかチェンジメーカーとか言う人たちは，ホテルに帰ってからの自分の行為に対して，どういう割り切り方をしているんでしょうか．その小さな行為を気にしなくても，より大きな価値とやらを創出すれば気にしなくても良いのでしょうか．いずれ自分も何も感じずに，タオルを床に捨てて交換するようになるのでしょうか．自分の考え方に折り合いがつくまでは，自分は，安いホステルに泊まって，自分のタオルは自分でベッドの端にかけて乾かすことが当然であって，床にタオルを投げ捨てて交換してもらうことにぎこちなさを感じていたいと思うのです．
Notes:
- ブラジルに来て以来，育ちの良くて，日本的に言えばいい躾をされているような子の自宅のパーティーに招待してもらって，片付けを手伝おうとすると，メイドがやるから良いよ，みたいな対応をされて違和感を持ったことが何度もありました．一方でメイドとの関係が「使用人」と「主人」なのかというと，もう少し人間的な，家族的な繋がりがあるように見えて，一体どんなバランスで上手く行ってるのか（いってないのか）興味があるところです． ↩
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