何故シンガポールに来たのか

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表題のような質問を受けることがあります．特にシンガポール人の友人から聞かれることが多いです．日本人からも聞かれます．それ以外からも聞かれます．「まだ来て数週間なんだよね」と僕が言うので，ただの会話のとっかかりかもしれませんが，シンガポールは外国人が明らかに多くなってきており，興味を持ちやすい質問なのかもしれません．

自分の答えは明白で
１．独立して自分の研究室を持てるポジションだから（80%）
２．研究室を運営するための研究費が取れそうだから（20%）
が思いつくところです．

３．中国語を話せるようになりたいから
４．日本に近いから
など，後付けで理由になるものもありますが，１と２がなければ選びませんでしたので，やはり１と２が理由です．なので「独立できるか」かどうかと，頑張ればお金が取れる（可能性がある）のが理由です．研究資金についてはシンガポールも厳しくなってきており３年後の状況もわかりません．しかし少なくとも今のアメリカはもっと厳しそうです．住む場所としては，今のところは大きな不満はありません．

「表題の問い」に対する答えは，自分が探してた条件に合う仕事がたまたまシンガポールにあったから，ということになります．以下，自分の条件だった「独立」についての所感を書いてみたいと思います．

「問いを解くこと」から「問いを立てること」への変化

就職活動を振り返ると，初めは（大学研究職）（企業研究職）（研究職以外）と，幅広く考えていました．働く場所についてはあまり好みはなかったのですが，職種については出来るだけ広く見たいと思っていました．様々な労働環境はあると思うので非常に簡略化した見方ですが，先進国のホワイトカラーの仕事を（自分の問いを立てる自由度）と（報酬）の２軸でプロットしてみたら，負の相関があるのだと思います．さらに言うなら「（大学研究職）→（企業研究職）→（研究職以外）の順で報酬が上がって自由度が減る」という見方は，ある程度の妥当性があると思います．職種とは少し違いますが（起業）などのスタイルも，上のリストで言えば，左側の方に入るのかもしれません．

大学の学部生の時に入った研究室の先生が「大学での研究をすることの素晴らしさは，自分で問題を設定できること」と言っており，何故か心に残っていました．その当時はその言葉が意味することを理解していませんでしたが，少し経験を積んでくると「自分で問いを立てる」ことの嬉しさと難しさがわかってきました．嬉しさは情熱にあり，難しさは自意識にあります．本質的に「問いを立てること」と「問いを解くこと」には違いがあり，それをどちらもできる自由度を持てることは，とても魅力的に映りました．

どのようなキャリアであっても，大体は「問いを解くこと」から入るのだと思います．アメリカのホワイトカラー的な働き方で言えば，大学院生の博士課程や，企業で「アナリスト」などと呼ばれる立場がそれに当たるのだと思います．「他人の持っている問題を解くこと」は，もしそれが自分の問題意識や興味と重なれば良いのですが，そうでない場合は苦痛を伴いながら「トレーニングだ」「視野を広げている」と割り切ったりするものです．もちろんその過程が無駄だとは思いません．問い自体が曖昧なところから，他人が持つ問いを解くことで，自分の問いが少しずつ具現化していくこともあるでしょうか．

いずれ「問いを解くこと」から「問いを立てること」に仕事の性質がシフトする段階が訪れます．それがいつであるのが最適なのか考えたことがあるのですが，あまりわかりませんでした．いずれにしても，自分の場合は，できるだけ早くそうなりたいと思っていました．50歳で独立しても，今ほどは頭も体も動かないと思うからです．

「誰かにとって大事な問いを持つこと」から「自分にとって大事な問いを持つこと」への変化

そんな葛藤をキャリアの初期に繰り返しながら「自分の問いが立てられるようになってきた」と思ったりしたのですが，多くの場合はただの幻想でした．経験を重ねると，「自分の問い」だと思ったものが本当に「自分の問い」かと考えずに済ます器用さも備わるし，何を言えば社会的に受けるかわかる狡猾さも備わります．小賢い人がハマりやすい罠だと思います．

他人が問題だと言うことにタダ乗りするのは簡単です．例えば「サウジアラビアでエネルギーの問題がある，なので石油を効率良く掘りたいのがどうしたら良いか」という問いがあって「それは重要な問題だ，自分はこう思う」というのは簡単なのです．「エネルギー」という「大多数が何となく問題だと思っていること」を問題に設定すれば，やっていることも他人に説明しやすいし．自分の問題設定が的外れで恥をかくおそれもありません．

ちなみに，私は実際に自分がサウジアラビアで石油に関連した研究をしていたとき「この問題が自分に取って大事な問題だ」と自信を持って言えなかったことを知っています．もちろん，研究に関連した，デバイス作製やそれを用いた実験などは面白く，情熱を持った部分もありました．一方でいざ大局を見た時に，自分がエネルギー問題に心から興味を持っているのかという自問に，自信を持って Yes と答えられませんでした．そういう自分の心の微妙な葛藤を知っているからこそ，人が持つ問いと情熱について一筋縄ではいかないものだと思います．とりわけ「イノベーション」「貧困」「教育」「被災地支援」など，否定しづらい大きな言葉が問題意識として雄弁に語られるとき，私はいつも少し斜に構えて聞いてしまいます．この人はパッションを持っているのか，あるいはパッションを盛っているのかと言うことが，一聴しただけではわからないのです．

自分が幸いだと思うのは，そういった大きな，掴みどころのない問題においても，情熱を持って取り組む友人に出会えてきたことかもしれません．もちろん人間ですから完璧な友人がいるというつもりはありません．それでも「こいつのパッションはこれだ」と言えるような人に何人も会えたことは幸運でした．それは外聞を気にして多数決で決まった問題意識に乗っかることの対極にあり，だからこそ自分も「本当に心から大事と言える問題に取り組みたい」という理想を掲げたいと思えるようになりました．自分が現段階でまだそれを見つけきっていないことには正直になりたいと思います．だからこそ，自分で問題設定をして，それを試すことのできることが，今の仕事の魅力だと思っています．

最近の興味

今このポジションで挑戦できることはとても幸運なことですから，自分にプレッシャーをかけるためにも「本当に心から大事と思える問題に取り組む」ことを妥協しない，と宣言したいと思います．そうじゃなければ，今の仕事の一番素晴らしい部分を享受していないことになります．

僕はずっとマイクロ流体という技術を研究してきて，小さな管の中での流れや，流れによるパターン形成が美しいと思います．最近はそういった小さなデバイスを生物と組み合わせることで，生物の機能付加に繋がることがないか，と考えています．そこから派生したところで「生きているもの」と「生きていないもの」の境目がどこにあるのか，というぼんやりとした興味を持っています．「生きていないパーツ」を複数組み合わせて「生きているもの」ができるなら，それは何なのか，何故なのか，というようなことは，長期的なテーマの候補にならないかな，と思っています．

あとは，実験系の研究室を運営するのにお金がかかり過ぎることは残念に思っています．これは今の自分が研究費をたくさん持っていないのもありますが，安く装置を作製し，安くサイエンスの実験をする，というのは研究室のコアに据えたいと思います．

自分の興味や情熱は，やはり実際に何かを作製すること．見ること，理解することにあります．一方で上記のような自分が研究してきた技術は，ヘルスケアのコスト削減，遠隔地医療，ウエアラブル装置に生かせるだろうと，色んな可能性が示されています．そういった big picture を，社会的に意義がありそうだから，賞賛を受けられそうだからとバスワード的に並べるのではなく，自分の問題として，自分の信じる言葉で語れるようになりたいと思います．

あとは，旅行と食べ物が好きです．食べ物についても，もう少し勉強して，研究のテーマにならないかと思っています．

「何をするか」，極論すれば「自分がどうありたいか」について，妥協せずに考える姿勢を持つことを期待して，今の仕事を選んでシンガポールに来ました．もちろん現実的なことを言うと，いつだってその限りでないのは，着任してたかだか２ヶ月の今でもわかります．しかし「理想を掲げることをやめていないか」と10年後の自分を煽るために，あえて青臭い感じで締めくくりたいと思います．

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